Photography by Angie Garcia
This is what I wore for my first Catholic confession. After seeing these images, I’m reminded of a conversation I had with Liz at the Polish Dallas fashion show (more on that later this month). “This is real life, not the blog!” Hindsight is 20/20. Anyhow, I just wanted to be in my “Sunday best” for this evening. Is this church appropriate?? It would have been better with a different shoe choice, but this IS a good insert blogger event here outfit!
GET THE LOOK
thrifted ARMANI blazer {similar} || ZARA tulip dress (old) {similar from FC} || CHANEL pearl necklace via Last Call {similar} || KARA ACKERMAN earrings c/o || VINTAGE, STELLA&DOT bracelets || VALENTINO rockstud kitten heels || CHANEL backpack {east/west version for less than $1000} || PRADA baroque sunglasses || TOM FORD aphrodisiac lipstick
WARNING: the rest of this post is more of a personal post and less about style!
Anyone who knows me would say I’m a positive person. One of my nicknames is Samshine, which I DO LOVE! But that’s what most people think and see on the outside… It’s been pretty rough for me introspectively the past almost two years. Now, I know it seems to coincide with the timing of Little M’s birth, but please don’t think it’s attributed to him at all. I just feel like I lost myself, my innate self of positivity, my Samshine. Mr. S had mentioned it to me multiple times… You don’t seem happy? I felt thankful for everything in my life. We were blessed with a tender hearted boy and the best adoption that we could ever imagine. We had our health and weren’t in need of clothing or shelter, but I felt this emptiness. Normally, I could shake it and I’ve always been able to “just be happy” like it was my second skin.
Now I may loose some of y’all here. We’ve gone through quite a journey to have Little M. Along the way, so many things happened, little things. But now looking back, I realize it was guiding us towards the Catholic Church. I didn’t feel comfortable with IVF (the whole process), but we were so desperate for a child that I did it anyways. I didn’t like the idea that we (the doctors) were messing with Mother Nature in what should be a “natural process”. It didn’t work. Was it because I didn’t “believe” or was too scared to get my hopes up? I don’t know but it didn’t happen 3 times (and 3 rounds of IUI previous to that). Then my hairstylist moved to Chicago and recommended another gal (my current awesome gal Connie). During our first meeting, she told me about The Creighton Method, which is one of the natural family planning methods utilized by the Catholic church. It sounded interesting so I looked into it. Long story short, I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had 2 surgeries in Nebraska. By the time of the second surgery, I was set on adopting even though THAT surgery was supposed to allow us to become pregnant. Fast forward years later, and our dreams came true with the adoption of a very special baby boy. God had answered our prayers and made him just for us… sounds silly but we feel that it’s so true. Throughout this journey, we had inconsistently gone to church. After Little M was born, we felt a responsibility to raise him with a good foundation in the church. After visiting many churches, we both agreed on the Catholic church! If that wasn’t a miracle, I don’t know what is!!! Mr. S and I are so opposite ON EVERYTHING that it’s hard to find a compromise, but we BOTH loved that church. We committed to the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) classes which started in September and will complete at the end of May. It’s a program to help us learn more about Catholicism, and we’ve been learning so much in this RCIA class. I feel like God is sending me messages through these teachings and had renewed my hope and happiness. I can’t explain it better any than that.
Hopefully, that made some kind of sense. What I’m trying to say is that I felt lost when I was “too busy” for God because I was a new mother, wife, pharmacist, blogger, whatever… And now that I’ve been lucky enough to be accepted into the Catholic Church and renew my faith, God is filling my heart with joy and love. And I don’t ever want to forget that. I am overcome with emotion as I’m writing this post, but this is something I really wanted to share. If you’ve made it this far, then thanks for hanging in there!
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found; Was blind, but now I see. – John 9:25
