Our Adoption Story

styleofsamadoptionstory

If you know me personally, then you’d say that I’m a private person.  I LOVE sharing style tips, fashion finds, and happy things with y’all but I’m pretty private about my personal life…. especially on the blog.

However, I feel like this is a little special.  Someone else may have the same feelings or questions that I did, and I was lucky enough to have great and supportive family and friends to help guide me through the process.  Thank you Emily for your adoption wisdom!!

We started in 2006.  I was 30 years old and super excited about starting a family.  The mister and I had been married for 3 years.  At the time, all of our married friends were also starting families and warned me that getting pregnant would happen a lot quicker than expected i.e. in a month.  So we waited… anytime now I thought.  But months passed, then a year, and nothing happened.  Fast forward to 2012.  After 3 cycle of IUI (intrauterine insemination), 3 cycles of IVF (in-vitro fertilization), and 2 surgeries for endometriosis, I was done – mentally and physically. Actually, before the second surgery, I was ready for adoption.  It was a process to get to that point, and the Mister had gotten there before me.

I started looking into the different avenues of adoption.  We had friends that went through an adoption law service and those who went through an agency.  We did phone interviews with some larger agencies in different states that offered “fast and easy” adoptions.  Those made me extremely uncomfortable because it felt like we were buying a car.  I wanted some “magic” to happen, not just a transaction!  We decided to go with an agency because, honestly, this was our first adoption and we needed some hand holding.  I didn’t know what I was doing so someone to help EVERY STEP OF THE WAY was exactly what we wanted.

Originally, we had looked in International adoption.  After gathering more info, we realized a Domestic adoption would be better for us.  We had a preconceived notion that it would be easier to have a “clean break” and less likely to worry about “co-parenting” if the birth mother was in a different country.  Luckily, both agencies that we considered had orientations and educated us on many stereotypes, preconceived notions, and ideas that people have about adoption.  Also, the amount of traveling required, sometimes with little to no information depending on the specific country, and the variability of time need to stay in each country sounded too stressful for us.  We decided to move forward with a domestic adoption.

We turned in all the paperwork in December. We had to get background checks and fingerprints done. We also had to have our friends fill out questionnaires about us. Two of my friends later voiced their emotions to me about having to answer very personal questions about us and how difficult it was. (We never saw the questionnaires.)  Our home study was scheduled at the beginning of February and we were approved at the end of the month. Katy P*, our adoption counselor, told us to go ahead and get a car seat and crib.  I did those things as well as paint the future nursery a neutral gray color.  During that time waiting for approval, I worked on our adoption profile book. “What is that?” you ask. Well, it’s a compilation of photos and texts that describe you as a couple and your hobbies, friends, family, etc.  It is what the birth mother/parents look at to decide 1) which adoptive family they want to work with and 2) decide the fate of their child – I’m being a little dramatic here but that part is also true!  It’s the first impression that a potential birth parent has of you, so I put a lot of heart and soul in it.  {What that means is that I was a big stress ball about getting a shutterfly book together!}

After approval, the next part was the waiting game.  This is when you hope an agency is working with birth mothers that want to make an adoption plan.  Luckily, our agency had “waiting family” classes to keep us busy, but be proactive at the same time.  We went to an infant care class and a toxicology class.  It was helpful to be busy with positive things like that (and I also started a new job and in 2 weddings) while we were waiting.  Every time we would get a call about a potential birth mother, I would tear up every time Katy P* told us the sex of the baby.  That could be our baby.  I’m not going to lie, it was devastating when we would get a call notifying us that we were not chosen (usually a couple of days later).  One of our friends shared a really helpful thought with us during one of those times. He said that there was another baby that needed us more waiting for us. It was a comforting thing to think about.

This is the part where you have to believe in a little magic and have faith that God has a plan for everything.  We got the call about Taylor S*, a birth mother in Happyville*, in early July.  Yes, we wanted our profile book shown.  I got a text at work asking about our Nationality.  For the record, I’m Chinese and Mr. S is Caucasian.  Could this be good?  Asking questions about us means we’re being considered right?  A couple of days later, I got a call from Katy P* telling me that Taylor S* picked us.  I burst into tears of joy and could barely reply back to her.  We were in the car on a road trip out of town.  {I forgot to tell you that Mr. S kind of freaked out about not having time after having a baby so we were doing something or going somewhere almost every weekend.}  We were told by Katy P* that she saw our profile book and knew that we were the ones. She didn’t want to look at the others, but she did when she was urged by her social worker to do it for completeness.  The next part happened really fast.  We flew to Happyville* for a day to meet Taylor S*.  Our meeting lasted probably an hour and a half – it went by in a blink of an eye. She told us that she wouldn’t change her mind, and she seemed very serious.  Katy P* told us to get ready for the baby but be cautiously optimistic and remember that it could NOT happen.  I was extremely conservative and got crib sheets, 2 bottles, diapers, and wipes.  I waited until the day before we flew out to buy and wash all the clothes.  I was afraid to stock up on things JUST IN CASE it didn’t happen.  Two weeks later, we flew back to Happyville* for the birth of our little boy.  It was a scheduled c-section, and he was brought to us right after he was born. When the nurse put him in my arms, I felt like angels were singing.  He was perfect, and everything felt right.  We flew back to Fort Worth 3 days later.

Now, we are in the post placement period.  Katy P* comes to visit us every month for 6 months until the finalization papers are filed.  I have to say that we feel like every day is a blessing and we are the luckiest parents in the world.  I’m not sure if it’s because of our long journey to finally have him or if all parents feel like this!

Anyhow, if you’ve made it this far… thank you for taking the time to read all of this and letting me share.  Hopefully, it helps if you are/will be in the same boat.  And please feel free to email me or comment if you have any questions.

>> You can read about our SECOND adoption here!! <<

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons, but I gave you some good ones so you can imagine some faces!  BTW, I started writing this post on October 14th!  That’s how long it takes me to get things done {and I consider this fast}!

43 thoughts on “Our Adoption Story

  1. Love. That’s all I can say. Love it. Every inch. And I need to visit your little fella soon! Oh, and you too.

    1. Emily!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU is all I can say to you!! And we are so excited about y’all’s next step (now that your book deadline is done)! Hooray!!

    1. Thank you Mica!! When we look back at everything for the last seven years, it all seems like a blur and so worth it!! We couldn’t be happier or more blessed. And maybe God felt that we needed this journey to be in the right place to have a child! :)

    1. Thanks Stephanie!! We still never did our lunch and now I feel like we need at least 5 to catch up!! Are y’all still here or in SD?? If here, then, FOR REAL, we need to catch up soon!

      Lots of hugs to you and the cuties!!

  2. I remembered we talked about your journey and how difficult it had been. I feel a little emotional just reading your post. This couldn’t have happened to nicer people. We still talk about you and Mr S ever since we finally caught up in person after years of online communication. Sending all 3 of you lots of hugs and kisses from across the Atlantic ocean.

    p.s. I’ve finally fixed that blasted &$£@ whatsapp so you can text me again.
    Marlene @ chocolatecookiesandcandies recently posted…Getting Lost in PragueMy Profile

    1. Marlene!!

      We miss y’all!! Mr S stills needs friends like Mr CCC!! And I messaged you on that $&@/ what’s app at the beginning of November! I think it’s still not working! What’s the other one you told me about again?

  3. Sam, thank you SO much for sharing this story! I am so incredibly happy for the both of you. Hubby and I have talked about adoption, and I’ve always considered it. It was so good to hear your perspective and to learn that a lot of the things we think about international-versus-domestic adoptions may not be true. Thank you again and congrats!
    xx Lexi, Glitter, Inc.

    1. You’re welcome Lexi!! I was hoping that I could help answer some of the same questions that I had for other people. There are a lot of opinions that were shared with us when we told people that we were adopting. It was good to learn the reality. If you ever have any other questions, please email me! I’ll answer what I can (although you may know some of the law stuff better than me)! ;-)

  4. I am so happy for you. We are now in the process of trying to have a baby, and it seems that everyone us is having one. I keep waiting and waiting.

    This story was very touching, and it is truly a blessing that you were given this little angel to raise.

    Congratulations again to you, the mister, and baby.

    1. Kanae!!

      I didn’t know y’all were trying to adopt also. Thank you for sharing that with me. The waiting process IS hard. If you ever have questions or want to chat, then please email me. I’ve been lucky to have great support so I’d like to pay it forward. Styleofsamantha@gmail.com. I really mean it.

  5. Sam- This is beautiful. So glad you were able to share you story with everyone. Your sweet boy is blessed beyond belief. xoxo

    1. Thanks Morgan!! And I’m glad y’all let me share! It was such a scary but releasing thing to press the publish button!

  6. Your story brought tears to my eyes. It such a loving process to give a child a happy home.

    1. Thank you Melissa – I feel like I keep repeating myself but we feel like the lucky ones!! We couldn’t be any happier with our little one and imagine anything better. Everyday is beautiful with him!

    1. Thanks Stacey!!! We feel the same about her – that we are lucky that she chose us. She knew it right away, and I do feel like it was divine intervention.

  7. Sam,
    I am crying so hard as I write this. I can’t even begin to express how much happiness this post brings me. You and the mister are so amazing. I could not be happier for the 3 of you! It takes truly special people to go through the process of adoption. Without wonderful people, like you and the mister, people like me and your precious baby would not have such a fulfilling life full of love and happiness! Thank you for sharing and hope we get to see you guys soon!

    1. Sarah!!!

      Thank YOU so much for sharing. It’s makes me teary eyed as I write this. We feel like WE are the lucky ones to blessed with the perfect gift from God. We can’t imagine our life without him and he has filled our hearts with so much joy. We can’t wait for y’all to meet him!! Y’all would be proud bc he already has an Aggie hat and chucks!! We’ll call y’all if we are ever in your area and PROMISE to call us when y’all are here!! xx

  8. I enjoyed reading this post Sam, thanks for sharing. Adoption is such a beautiful thing. You have so much love to give and God blessed you for that.
    I am so happy for you guys!
    And what a beautiful family picture!!!!

    Amber

  9. I held my breath from the first word and let it go only at the very last. What a beautiful, beautiful journey, Sam, with a much-deserved white picket fences ending. Much love from Houston.

    1. Thanks Sheela!!! This is why me and The Mister were “living it up” in Miami!! We were getting ready for the next journey in our life!!

      And I always forget how close you are. Since I “met you” through Marlene, I keep thinking you are near her!! Must give you a ring next time I’m in Houston to visit my family!!

  10. Amazing and inspiring story. Thank you for sharing such a personal event in your life. A belated congrats to you and your family!

    1. Thanks Danielle! He was definitely worth the wait! We really couldn’t be more blessed! xx

  11. Amazing story Sam! I’m so happy for all of you. I know you are a fabulous mother! So glad I found your blog today. Also, can’t believe Toby and Sophie are still with you! They’ve made it a long time. Greta finally passed away in November at age 13. I still miss her a lot.
    Anyway, just wanted to say hi and express my happiness for you and your family. Your son is beautiful!
    Hugs, Jessica

    1. Thanks Jessica! Aw, miss ol’ Greta. Actually Sophie passed earlier this year – she was 17. I miss her too! Great to hear from you old roomie! :)

    1. Hi Hill!!

      Thank you so much! Little M has truly been a blessing for us everyday and we are so lucky to have such a wonderful adoption experience. xx

Comments are closed.